wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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