dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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