I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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