How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
