He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
