Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
