I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
