saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
