I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
