I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
