She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
