i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The power of my boobs compel you
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
