matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
