you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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