I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
