I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
