best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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