if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
