Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
