No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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