I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
