yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
