may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
