There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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