She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
high people should be assigned attendants
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
