everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
