i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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