I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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