The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
