you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
