brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
