Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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