Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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