on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
