I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
