So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Do vagina's smell?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
