I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
