so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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