just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
