Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
