i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
