I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
