Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
