in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
