I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
