U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
