Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
