Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
