I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Randomize
