Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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