my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
